Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

We had an unexpected child-free weekend.

My mom texted me Friday: Is Sawyer’s school closed Monday?

Yes, I responded.

Would he like to come stay here for the day? (It's MLK Day.)

And, of course, the answer to that question is “without a doubt.”

I’m pretty sure he’d pack up and move in with her if she/we’d let him. He is and has always been crestfallen when she leaves our house or he has to leave hers.

Anyway, this was sort of a spur-of-the-moment plan, so I wasn’t thinking about getting ready for it.

Ray and I texted about whether he could fly Sawyer to Hickory, because I knew the weather was supposed to be gorgeous on Saturday. He said yes and that he’d probably bring his pilot buddy so he could practice some things. I had decided to skip flying up with them since Ryan was coming along. I'd have to sit in the back seat, and I knew the nerdy pilot talk would be high.

Friday night, I had some friends over for dinner and game night. Which meant I wasn’t really free until after midnight.

After they left, I plopped beside Ray on the bed to discuss the Saturday morning plan. He wanted to leave by 10 a.m.

Then it hit me: I hadn’t packed Sawyer’s suitcase!

I have rowing practice at 7:30 Saturday mornings in Jamestown. That means I’m gone till about 9:30 a.m. I’d have to hoof it to get home and get his bag packed quickly.

I briefly thought about letting Ray pack the bag, which I’m sure he could do. But a lot of Sawyer’s laundry wasn’t put away and I knew he’d have trouble finding things.

Thankfully, it was cloudy Saturday morning, so I had some extra time waiting for the weather to clear enough for takeoff.

I packed a larger-than-normal duffel bag — and included snow clothes, just in case.

They headed out, and after taking a shower, I settled down on the couch to enjoy the quiet and watch a movie.

It’s so rare to have a quiet house. Or watch two hours of something without interruptions. Or just have nothing to worry about but my own needs. 

But I soon began to feel guilty. I could see the bright sunshine streaming in through the den blinds. It was a gorgeous day outside, and I was sitting inside — on the couch.

Besides, the movie was totally boring.

So I threw on my hiking boots and a light jacket, packed a small backpack with some water, snacks and dog biscuits and chose a trail that would be too long to attempt with Sawyer in tow.

Hank and I drove to the same spot we hiked with Sawyer on New Year’s Day. But this time, we hiked the longer trail on the opposite side of the road. The map said it was 3.5 miles, but to hike it down and back would double that. I didn’t think it was too much for me, but I wasn’t sure if Hank would last that long. It was also after 1 p.m. when we started, so I didn’t want to push it too close to dark.

This trail skirts along the back of the airport where Ray flies. I kept watching for planes, thinking he might be headed in from the dropoff at Grandmother’s. The trail meanders alongside Lake Townsend and Reedy Fork Creek, so the water was almost always in sight, and there were lots of birds to see. I passed so many cool trees, each time thinking about how I’d point them out to Sawyer if he were with me.

However, it was nice to just be on my own. To enjoy the quiet and hear the sounds of the woods. The sounds of jets flying overhead to land at PTI. The sounds of other approaching hikers.

I thought back to how much Hank and I used to do before Sawyer came along. But also how much I like having Sawyer come with us. Even though it’s more work and more noise to bring him, even though we can go farther and faster without him, I like his company. Hopefully, he's developing a love of hiking and nature. I realize it probably won’t be long before he’ll be faster and want to go farther than I can.

Hank and I did a little more than 5 miles. Probably about double what Sawyer could do. It was nice.

We enjoyed the rest of our child-free weekend by doing things we rarely get to do. Watched a total of FOUR (!) movies. Slept late. Watched the snow for all of 15 minutes. Took a nap. Had a lovely dinner without once having to tell someone to sit down, use good manners or eat the food on their plate. We actually had a grown-up conversation! Whoa.

It’s good to have our time apart. It's nice to have a break from thinking about someone else's wants and needs. It's nice to do things I enjoy without feeling guilty or dragging along someone who doesn't want to be there. It's nice to have quiet downtime. It makes me appreciate the chatter, the extra work and the hugs even more.  

My mom had called Sunday afternoon, and I finally got her on the phone on our way to said dinner.

“Sawyer just wanted to talk to you,” she said, handing the phone to him.

“Hey, Mom. I miss you. I love you. OK, bye!” he said, handing the phone back to my mom so he could return to playing his iPad game. 

I get it. And the feeling is totally mutual, buddy.

P.S. Thanks, Grandmother!