Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End

First day of preschool

They all came into the world within a few months of each other.

They’ve spent the past four years together — practically every day, learning life’s earliest lessons along with the ins and outs of the world.

And now, we’re sending them out into the world — on their own.

* * * * *

I can’t believe it’s been four years.

Sawyer was 20 months old when we dropped him off for the first day of preschool. He’d done so great at the open house and the morning drop-in; I thought he’d head for the toys and never look back.

But I was wrong. He wailed when I left.

We were supposed to drop them off in their class and leave quickly. Like ripping off a Band-Aid — do it fast and it hurts less, right?

It was hard, especially when Sawyer loved staying with sitters, friends and family, to leave him in tears.

But I knew it was going to be so good for him.

And about that, I was right.

After two days, he walked right into class and waved goodbye to me. 

Toddler Class

  

* * * * *

Sawyer moved “up” (down the hall really) to the Twos Class the next year.

One of his teachers from the Toddler Class was moving up with them, so there were lots of familiar faces.

Sawyer loved school by this point and probably wished he were there on days he wasn’t.

But we went through a rough patch.

He turned into a biter.

I dreaded going to school to pick him up because I didn’t want to hear about him biting another child.

The teachers weren’t too troubled by it. They reminded Sawyer he had to share and had to express his feelings with words, not teeth. I felt like the worst parent on the planet. Especially because there wasn’t much I could do hours after it happened.

I can’t remember how many “bites” he racked up, but they said he would grow out of it.

And most importantly, they loved him anyway.

Twos Class

* * * * *

When the Threes Class came, we did move “up” — literally and figuratively.

Lots of big changes came with climbing those stairs to the upper level of the school.

Everyone was potty-trained. They could get dropped off and picked up in the carpool line, which meant they had to walk up to the classroom on their own. And the class was split in half. About half of the children who’d been with Sawyer the first two years were going into the five-days-a-week Fours Class.

But Sawyer and his two closest buddies — Susan and Clare — were still together in Threes.

There was another familiar face that year: Mrs. Burns. Sawyer’s teacher from the Toddler Class decided to teach older kids, so many of the children were familiar with her.

Sawyer developed a lot over the year. As one of the oldest in the class, he started becoming much more verbal. The teachers commented on how big a vocabulary he had.

He had to adjust to many changes that year, as well. I started a different job over Christmas break, and we had the difficult decision of whether to keep him at his regular school or find a child care option that fit my new daytime schedule better. I was determined to keep him with his friends, even if it was harder for us.

So he joined the Fours Class one day a week. And he stayed after school every day at Stay and Play. Then he spent several (likely boring) hours at his dad’s office until I got off from work. It was far from ideal, but we made it work.

With my new schedule, I wasn’t able to do drop-offs and pickups like I had been. It was harder to tag along on field trips and special events at school, but I did it as much as I could.

The most memorable moment of the year came when I volunteered to drive and chaperone a field trip. Sawyer’s teachers asked if I could fit three car seats in my car. When I said that would be a tight squeeze, they looked defeated.

I asked why.

They said, “Susan and Clare BOTH want to ride with Sawyer, and they will be upset if only one gets to.”

It’s one of the best laughs I had all year. I told them I’d see what I could do.

I cleaned out the car and tried three booster seats to see if they’d fit. It would be tight, but I thought it was doable so I said I could manage all three of them.

The funniest part: After all that, on the day of the field trip, Clare was out sick. So Susan had Sawyer all to herself.

Their giggly conversation all the way to the farm was like music to my ears.

Threes Class

* * * * *

First day of pre-K

I would dare say pre-K has been Sawyer’s most fun year of preschool. Reunited with many of his pals from the early days of preschool and joining with some new friends, he has really had a blast this year.

His previous classes have always been a little light on boys, but he had lots of male buddies to romp and roughhouse with this year.

And being the oldest in the school comes with new responsibilities. Pre-K students serve as acolytes during chapel. They lead school parades and learn the more complex songs for special holidays.

Sawyer still had some bumpy times this year with his behavior and not getting along with his classmates. There were several emails or calls from his teacher when he had decided to conk someone in the head instead of working differences out with words. That didn’t go over well at home or at school, but by year’s end, he seemed to have learned the lesson.

And he did an amazing job transitioning from his regular school to ECC, the program he went to every afternoon. It would’ve been easier for us to just switch him to ECC full time, but we just couldn’t bear to pull him out of his school family and away from these friends. We wanted him to “graduate” with those same baby faces he began this adventure with, and he did.

My favorite part of this year has to be Sawyer’s decision to rename himself “Toothless” around Halloween (the dragon from the movie, which WAS his costume). I started seeing papers come home with the new moniker in the name space, and even other teachers and administrators started calling him Toothless. I got a good laugh out of the comment his teacher made at the parent conference: “Sawyer has excellent writing skills. Most kids this age will shorten their names so they have less to write. Not many would do like Sawyer and pick a nickname that’s longer.”

No matter which event I attended, I was struck by how big these kids have gotten — how much they’ve grown and changed since those early baby days. They have such vibrant personalities, unique likes and interests and friends they gravitate to now.

Which is why it’s so hard to see that end.

Pre-K Class

* * * * *

After being together these past four years, they’re all headed different directions. Sawyer will attend the Spanish immersion program at Jones Elementary. Thankfully, he’ll have two other friends from Holy Trinity with him, including his beloved Susan. Most of the other students will also transition to kindergarten with a few friends they know. A few are going to Irving Park, a few others to St. Pius and some at Sternberger.

It’s a bittersweet change. These past few weeks, as the last day got closer and closer, you could tell the kids were sensing the switch. Hugs grew longer and requests for just a few more minutes came more frequently.

At their “graduation chapel,” these usually exuberant children seemed subdued, a bit sad even. They each received a wooden cross and a blessing. They perked up a bit for their big song, “Kindergarten, Here We Come.” And many mamas in the audience were wiping their eyes.

I’m excited for all the new things kindergarten will bring. But I’m sad to think this is the first big “goodbye” for Sawyer’s life. Especially knowing how much harder each one will get. Middle school, high school, college and on. Life is full of changes and hellos and goodbyes.

It makes me happy that most of these kids will have a familiar face as they start this new endeavor. It reminds me of that song:

“Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.”

Sawyer is rich with gold. And I’m certain of two things: These kids are ready to take on the world, and they are going to do amazing things.