Sawyer Says

A few things seen and heard around our house lately.

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One recent morning, Sawyer hung out downstairs while I was getting ready for church. When I came downstairs to get him dressed, he was excited because he'd seen a cat on our front porch. (This is a frequent occurrence because we have quite a few outdoor cats in our neighborhood. In fact, I had seen one in our backyard a few days before and chased him off because he was stalking birds.)

So Sawyer started telling me about the feline he'd spotted.

Sawyer: "Mom, mom, I saw a cat on our front porch!"

Me: "You did? What did it look like?"

Sawyer: "It was gray and black."

Me: "Are you sure it wasn't all black? I saw an all-black one in the backyard the other day."

Sawyer (exasperated): "Yes, I'm sure. This one had gray thunders."

Now, most of the people who've heard this story look at me like, "Huh?" when I say "gray thunders." And it must be a sign of how in sync I am with Sawyer's language, because I knew INSTANTLY what he meant.



This, my friends, is a cat with "gray thunders."

Now, I'm guessing to a 4-year-old, a tabby cat's markings don't look quite like stripes because they're jagged. But jagged is not a word in Sawyer's vocabulary. So he filed through his brain for an equivalent and thought of lightning. And because he gets thunder and lightning mixed up, it came out as "a cat with gray thunders."

I was so delighted with his description I have decided to call all zigzags "thunders" from now on!

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Sawyer has been asking me to tell him stories while we're in the car. We used to sing songs when he got bored. Now, I guess, stories are more interesting. 

So, I made up a story about a cat who thought he'd be sneaky and catch a baby bird to eat it. But the mama bird swoops down on him and says, "Don't you eat my baby bird." And the hungry cat realizes it's better to be nice instead of being full. 

Sawyer liked the story and asked me to tell him another one. I said, "Why don't you tell me one instead?" And he agreed. 

His story was remarkably similar to mine except it was about a dog who wanted to eat a baby bird. He got most of the main points right and then veered off on a tangent, and I wondered where the story would end up. He brought it back around, though, when he said, "And finally the dog realized," and I choked back a laugh out the sound of such a big, grown-up word coming out of his mouth. 

"And finally the dog realized, that it was bett..um, nice…um, gooder to not eat the bird." 

And then I really had to choke back the laugh. Realized and gooder in the same sentence. What pride.

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"Mom?" 

I hear that phrase, that question, about 894 times a day. It's usually followed by some trivial request. 

"Mom, can I watch kid TV?" "Mom, can I have candy?" "Mom, I want Goldfish."  

But every now and then, Sawyer comes out with a statement that leaves speechless. Or at least biting my tongue. 

The other day, out of nowhere, in the kitchen: 

Him: "Mom, Sawyer is not a pretty name."

Me: "Oh, really? I'm sorry. What should we have named you?" 

Him: RocketBooster. I want to be Sawyer RocketBooster Burton. 

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Sawyer has been picking up on song lyrics a lot recently. He'll sing his little heart out, but he's only getting the words right maybe 50 percent of the time. And what he THINKS are the lyrics are usually quite funny.

His school plays music in the afternoons while the kids are coloring or playing, and because these are college-age young women some of the songs are current pop hits. (Some of it is questionable for 4- and 5-year-olds but I haven't heard anything really objectionable yet.) He came home one day singing, "Hey, this is crazy. So call me, baby." I explained that it's Call Me Maybe. I'm not sure he got it.

We were in the grocery store and "Give Your Heart a Break" by Demi Lovato came on. It was on the chorus, which goes like this ... 

So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take

Give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

Oh yeah, yeah

Sawyer came up to me and said, "Mom, you never gave your heart away, right?" (Over the store stereo, it did sound like "give your heart away.")

"Nope, I never did," I said chuckling, wishing his father could be there. Poking fun at your spouse is never as much fun when they're not around to hear it, especially to a 4-year-old who doesn't even recognize the dig.

"Good," Sawyer said in all seriousness. "Cause then you'd die."

Son, you have no idea.