Cinders and ashes: Thomas and the Wet Pants

Monday was a rough day for Daddy. 

But Tuesday was a rough day for Sawyer. 

He's been struggling with his behavior at school, mostly in the afterschool care. Of course, Sawyer's ultimately to blame, but we largely believe it's friendships with a couple other boys in this class that are triggering these outbursts. 

Since we're not there to see it, we can't be sure. But I think Sawyer is desperate for the attention of one boy (aka his "best friend") and when he doesn't get it or someone else gets it, Sawyer lashes out. 

We've been talking with him a lot, discussing how it feels to be mad, sad or hurt by our friends (Sawyer hurting others or others hurting him) and reminding him of the behavior we expect. 

Tuesday afternoon I got a note from Ray that work was slow and he was taking Sawyer to the "bookstore that has Thomas" (aka Barnes & Noble) as a treat/reward for having great behavior at Stay and Play. 

I had to chuckle a bit because I knew one of Sawyer's "friends" was not there that day. It was no shock to me that he'd had good behavior. 

Anyway, I got an update soon after the bookstore message. 

"We're headed home. Sawyer needed to use the potty and didn't make it in time." 

I felt bad for both of them. I can't remember a time (maybe my memory has blocked it out) when Sawyer wet his pants out somewhere. He's done it at home … in the early potty-training days and a few other times since when I think he was too lazy or too engrossed in an activity to follow the call of nature. And we're still struggling with staying dry at night. He'll have weeks of dry pull-ups and then try sleeping without one and have a wet bed. I really think it's a mental thing about getting out of bed in the morning. 

Anyway, Ray relayed the accident to me later. Just as they got to the train table (after Ray had found some books he wanted to read while waiting), Sawyer announced he needed to go and did the classic gotta-pee dance. Then, Ray said, his face fell and he said, "Uh-oh." 

Ray could see the dark stain spreading across his pants. And he felt awful for Sawyer. 

They rushed to the bathroom, with Ray praying they wouldn't leave behind a puddle on the floor of the kids section, but the damage was done. There was nothing to do but head home to change clothes. 

I felt bad for Sawyer, too. He LOVES the "bookstore that has Thomas" and is always asking to go. The one time he gets too … as a reward even … the visit is cut super short. 

I told Ray maybe we could make up for it with a trip to get ice cream after dinner. 

After Japanese and Target (to get my new iPhone … yay!), we made it to the frozen yogurt shop.

Sawyer asked to get ice cream in a "shell" like Daddy gets (aka as a waffle cup). And we let him. 

I'm sure it wasn't the same as Thomas, but it was a sweet end to my boys' two rough days together.